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As a double divorcée and a devoted Christian, I have heard many a stigma still being placed on divorce, particularly aimed toward divorced women in the church. I was a bit taken aback by it at first, but I am no longer surprised at the questions that come up. I have come to realize that though a majority of Christians have experienced divorce, it is still often misunderstood. I have witnessed marriages that don’t last often reduced to a few scriptural references and this initially offensive question: Didn’t you see this coming before you got married? Then, the decision to leave is casually being blamed on frivolous whims and hasty decision-making, when in fact; it is usually well-thought out and prayed about. Often the problems that lead to a decline in a relationship are not obvious until the union is tested by major life stressors. At times this can be worked out, but when it leads emotional, physical or financial abuse there is good cause to consider leaving. Some choose to stay in broken marriages due to fear of starting over and being alone, losing hard-earned status or possessions, or simply a sheer determination to change someone.
It is my goal to help other women recognize that there is no shame in leaving an abusive situation and that you will survive. I would also like to see a shift in thinking about how the Christian divorcée sees her future. Many have given up on the idea of obtaining a fulfilling marital relationship, without considering that this train of thought exposes us to lifestyles that are not conducive to our Christian walk and most importantly, it belittles the fact that God is a master of perpetual chances. As long as you have breath, there is still time to try and try again until you get it right. Certainly when we stumble in relationships, we should take the time to step back to examine our thought process, our attractions and distractions, but by the same token, we need to recognize that we are continually able to be made new. Even if it’s hard for you, place it in God's hands and remember that nothing is too hard for Him. Pray for a clean heart and keep it moving. Rebound, renew and rejoice!
Join me on Friday, May 17th at 7:30 p.m. with Literature over Libations and The Real Girlfriends of RDU next month as I kickoff my celebration of the 1st anniversary of my debut novel, Diary of a Divorcée Diva, with my first book club feature! Location TBA.