Skip to main content

Rebound. Renew. Rejoice!

Image courtesy of jannoon028/

As a double divorcée and a devoted Christian, I have heard many a stigma still being placed on divorce, particularly aimed toward divorced women in the church. I was a bit taken aback by it at first, but I am no longer surprised at the questions that come up. I have come to realize that though a majority of Christians have experienced divorce, it is still often misunderstood. I have witnessed marriages that don’t last often reduced to a few scriptural references and this initially offensive question: Didn’t you see this coming before you got married? Then, the decision to leave is casually being blamed on frivolous whims and hasty decision-making, when in fact; it is usually well-thought out and prayed about. Often the problems that lead to a decline in a relationship are not obvious until the union is tested by major life stressors. At times this can be worked out, but when it leads emotional, physical or financial abuse there is good cause to consider leaving. Some choose to stay in broken marriages due to fear of starting over and being alone, losing hard-earned status or possessions, or simply a sheer determination to change someone.  

It is my goal to help other women recognize that there is no shame in leaving an abusive situation and that you will survive. I would also like to see a shift in thinking about how the Christian divorcée sees her future. Many have given up on the idea of obtaining a fulfilling marital relationship, without considering that this train of thought exposes us to lifestyles that are not conducive to our Christian walk and most importantly, it belittles the fact that God is a master of perpetual chances. As long as you have breath, there is still time to try and try again until you get it right. Certainly when we stumble in relationships, we should take the time to step back to examine our thought process, our attractions and distractions, but by the same token, we need to recognize that we are continually able to be made new. Even if it’s hard for you, place it in God's hands and remember that nothing is too hard for Him. Pray for a clean heart and keep it moving. Rebound, renew and rejoice!

Join me on Friday, May 17th at 7:30 p.m. with Literature over Libations and The Real Girlfriends of RDU next month as I kickoff my celebration of the 1st anniversary of my debut novel, Diary of a Divorcée Diva, with my first book club feature! Location TBA.


Popular posts from this blog


September is a bittersweet month for me. It is filled with celebrations of life as there are multiple Virgos in my immediate family, including myself and my mom, but it has also become a time of remembering death. Fifteen years ago, on September 11, 2001, I was staring out of the window at University of North Carolina Hospitals. My birthday was the next day, but it was overshadowed with wondering how I would survive the 12 hours days with my full-time internship in the psychiatric ward and my part-time job in admissions at night. Not physically, but mentally. It was the first time I'd been back there since my dad’s sudden cardiac death four years earlier in September of 1997, just a few days before he would have some time off and could celebrate a belated birthday lunch he had promised me. Ironically, I saw him in passing traffic as I sped to work just hours before his death and we waved and smiled. He pointed his finger like I was busted for driving too fast and I couldn’t wait …

Chronic Diva: Kizxandria Baker (Lupus Awareness Month)

Chronic Diva:Kizxandria Baker

Loving YOU!

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and love is again in the air! With February being so focused on love between couples, it is often a time of doubt for women who are going through divorce and separation. Some of the most confident women I know have allowed divorce to make them doubt their decision-making, doubt they are worthy to be loved and doubt that they can ever be whole again. Having been a Divorcée Diva for a few years now, I often forget just how much you go through before you reach that point of becoming victorious over such notions. Some women have yet to get there at all and often ask me how it is possible that when asked if I would do it again, I come with an unequivocal and anticipatory answer of yes! My answer is simply this…if God loves me and I love myself, then my love is complete and it should be easy for me to share that love with the man who God has for me.
Most of us know that God loves us, so that leaves the question of whether you have you learned to love yourself. Y…